The Party of the Year?

A search over at YouTube brings forth, sadly, very little on the Golden Globe Awards except for a bounty of clips from last night’s shindig. Give it some time and hopefully we will see scenes from the Globes in their glory days, back before they ever even pretended to be respectable, back before they became hot and holy precursors to the Academy Awards.

I remember a ceremony years ago when the late Nell Carter bounced onstage crooning THE most ridiculous song every composed for an awards show. “This is the party of the year,” she sang, while the lyrics awkwardly listed stars in attendance. Nell would blurt out a celeb’s name and the camera would find Susan Anton or Pia Zadora or Cornelia Otis Skinner for a candid camera “gotcha” moment. Everyone was always crowded at tables, getting snockered, ignoring the proceedings on stage until their name was called and they’d stumble up with humble gratitude and, usually in hushed and reverent tones that recalled Anne Baxter's Eve Harrington, graciously thank the Hollywood Foreign Press before slouching off stage to an after party with John Derek or maybe the Landers sisters.

Not any more. Last night’s show was fun but waaaaay too respectable. The last thing I need to do here is provide any kind of analysis on how these awards impact the Oscars. Plenty of experts, soothsayers and bloggers have already spoken on that topic today.

Let’s just say that the movie winners came as no surprise. In fact, for the first time I was 100% correct on my predictions. However, on the other side of the fence, with the TV honorees, there were surprises and disappointments aplenty. To begin with, they gave the trophy to the wrong Jeremy. This was Mr. Piven’s year. I am smitten with Ari Gold to the extent I was once smitten with Charles Ryder, as brilliantly and seductively essayed by the other Jeremy in Brideshead Revisted. For that one, Mr. Irons deserved a Globe, which he lost (parenthetically) to his costar Anthony Andrews. But, well, ok, here’s the thing: am I the only one out here who was more than a tad underwhelmed by Elizabeth I? Except for la Mirren’s great work, the whole thing was a creaky, ho-hummish affair. And Claus von Bulow’s performance, while certainly better than most stuff we see on the small screen, was a little dull and a bit mannered, especially when compared to anything the praiseworthy Piven put forth in this season’s Entourage. And what was he wearing last night? It looked like something discarded from Dangerous Liaisons – on Ice.

Ugly Betty is better than Weeds or The Office? Don’t think so. And why was there even a roster of nominees for comedy actress? It’s Mary Louise Parker. There is no one else. (apologies to fans of America Ferrera.)

Give me those heady days when Anne Francis could rightfully snag Best TV Star – Female for Honey West. Or take me to those fabulous jaw-droppers when supporting actors were all tossed into one line-up, regardless of how many episodes or type of show, and you would get Kirk Cameron going nose to nose with Sir John Gielgud. Or, even better, Justine Bateman going down to the wire with Olivia De Havilland. It just doesn't get any better than that.